Where is amber?

March 25, 2007
By ctodd
Where is amber?

Passing thought a traffic light the other day got me to thinking. What if there were no amber lights? The answer instantly returned--serious accidents and death daily. The creation of the amber light between the green and red light is an ingenious innovation that saves lives.

The amber light has implications for anger management. The amber light is synonymous with our ability to listen to and regulate our emotions. So many times we can go from green to red (road rage, desk rage, verbal abuse, workplace aggression etc.) with no thought of the consequences--we leave in the wake a trail of destroyed relationships, lives and property.

Therefore I must ask--where is amber? With the increase in anger in many societies, where are those internal regulations which warn us that it is time to stop and take stock before we explode in rage? Being more emotionally intelligent and, specifically, developing emotional literacy will help to bring amber back. So many relationships can be saved if we bring amber back. It is important to learn the skills to become aware of, specify and name our emotions. These skills make us better able to respond to the world around us in a manner that takes into account our own emotions and the emotions of others. George Anderson’s anger management model hits at the core of this idea. I encourage anyone struggling with anger and the ability to respond appropriately to others in a work, home or community situation to visit http://www.anger-management-resources.org/ to find an Anderson and Anderson provider in your area.

Anger management is not only about managing anger—it is about improving relationships, reducing stress, communicating your needs and improving the quality of your life. Making changes in these areas can transform our homes and create positive relationships that we did not realize were possible. My sincere hope is that we all can find amber.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF

Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is an Anderson and Anderson Anger management provider in North Carolina