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Friday, March 06, 2009

An Action Plan for Developing Self-Awareness and Self-Control

Emotional intelligence, in contrast to IQ, is not static and can be improved at any point in a person’s life. The keys to change include recognition of the areas in which a person scores in the deficit range in any of the domains of emotional intelligence. Once the problem areas are defined, an action plan, along with a commitment to change and a coach or facilitator to guide you through the change process, are the keys to success.

Self-Awareness and Self-Control are two of the four domains of emotional intelligence as defined by Daniel Goleman. The other two domains are Social Awareness and Relationship Management.

Below is a sample of an action plan for developing Self-Awareness and Self-Control:

Begin each day by monitoring the thoughts and physical signs that accompany a particular feeling. These are not the feelings themselves, but the thoughts and sensations that go with them:

  • Do you sweat?
  • Does your hearth beat fast?
  • Do you feel tense?
  • Do your thoughts race?
  • Does your throat get tight?
  • Do you get tunnel vision?
  • Does you mind go blank?
  • Do you feel numb?

Self-Control Action Plan:

Use the strategies below to manage your reactions to emotionally arousing situations:

  • Listen with your head and heart – During difficult conversations, always let the other person finish speaking, even if it takes a while. This decreases your chances of rushing to judgment and calms the other person down.
  • Take a time out - Explain to the speaker that you would like to take more time to think about what has been said and you will get back to him or her. Use the time to view the conversation in a more objective light before responding.
  • Breathe – When all else fails, breathe. Regardless of your feelings, practicing breathing will clear your head and you will be in a better position to choose the best course of action.

Emotional intelligence is like any other skill enhance model of learning. The more you practice, the more likely you are to succeed in mastery.


George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF, CEAP
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
Anderson & Anderson®, The Trusted Name in Anger Management
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.aaamp.org
http://www.linkedin.com/in/geoanderson
www.anger-management-resources.org

1 Comments:

Blogger mojo said...

I totally agree with George about the importance of having a strategy for processing strong emotions, especially anger. Anger is like energy, neither created nor destroyed, it is simply transferred from one source to another, or one susceptible person to another. In this case, a susceptible person could be described as one who has no defense against the anger caused in them by their life circumstances. Most often, with out an anger management system in place, we tend to "suppress" our strongest emotions, and, in a way, sweep them under the rug (suppression)- to be forgotten. Although, we have all had experiences or connections to people who take the other option of blowing up and trying to make others as angry as they are. In either scenario, these unprocessed, unchannelized energies inevitably manifest themselves again later and exponentially stronger. We must be aware of the fact that the intensity of negative energy we are capable of putting on others is enough to destroy ourselves from inside and all of our most important relationships. Suppression never helps, it only leads to accumulation. What helps, is channelizing your anger in the right way, or direction. Figuring out our own most effective methods for channelizing emotions is our obligation to ourselves and everyone in our sphere of influence. There is no reason for people to feel defeated, or that they dont know the way; people like George Anderson and others, who have a profound understanding of emotional intelligence, have developed the ability to see things objectively, which allows them to make enlightened decisions and to teach us how to choose the right path as well.
Make it your mantra: "channelize, channelize, channelize!"

9:46 PM

 

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