Watch That Body Language

Communication involves more than the words that come out of your mouth. One of the most powerful ways to communicate to another person is the use of your body language. In fact… your body language may send a more powerful message to the person you are talking to than the words that you are using. For example, if you tell someone that you are very interested in their new idea, and, as they explain it to you with excitement, you constantly check your Palm Pilot for the time and proceed to send off a few text messages… you are really telling them that you have more important things to do with your time and you are in fact contemplating those things at that very moment. In other words, you really could care less about what they have to say.

Ever had a conversation with someone who answered “yes” to something while at the same time they are rolling their eyes or letting out a long sigh? What does that communicate? To many of us it would be obvious that the words and the body language are incongruent. Out of the mouth comes an affirmation, but the body is actually saying the exact opposite. A person that assumes that everyone will recognize and respond appropriately to the “feeling” and not the words may find themselves involved in conflicts. Why? Because they will interact with many people that will focus and respond to the words only and not the real feeling being expressed by the body, which is the underlying message. Solution: Say what you really mean.

Communication is a two-way street. Not only do we need to receive messages accurately, we also need to send messages accurately. Be careful of the signals that you send with your eyes, arms, face, etc. Minimize confusion and be sure that all of the language you are expressing (body and words) in your conversation are telling the same story.

Tanya James, M.Ed., CAMF
http://www.amofmetroatlanta.com/ Anger Management of Metro-Atlanta


George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.angertrends.blogspot.com/
www.anger-management-resources.org