Saying "Yes"

Saying "Yes"
To say “yes,” you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows. It is easy to say “no.”

— Jean Anouilh

Anger is a defensive emotion. It teaches us to “No it all,” denying our family, friends, and co-workers simple favors we could easily grant. All too often we say “no” automatically, it is our default response.

This doesn’t have to be. We can learn to say “yes.” Learning to say yes affirms our connection to others, affirms our positive intent, and helps us avoid slipping into anger automatically.

Each day find a situation in which you can say “yes” without violating your own boundaries, without being submissive, without losing integrity. Practice saying “yes” with a passion for life and compassion for others. The results of this simple exercise may surprise you as you find your relationships improving as well as your mood and your feelings about yourself.

John Elder, M.A., MFT

How To Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a far greater predictor of success in life, work, marriage and interpersonal relationships than IQ. Emotional intelligence, EQ consist of four important skills.

The first two skills focus on self – awareness and self – management:
1. Self-Awareness – Your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions and stay aware of them as they happen. This includes keeping on top of how you tend to respond to specific situations and certain people.
2. Self – Management – Your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct and manage your own behavior. This means managing your emotional reaction to all situations and people.

The last set of skills focus more on your interaction with others:
3. Social Awareness – Your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and get what is really going on. This often means understanding what other people are thinking and feeling, even if you don’t feel the same way.
4. Relationship Management – Your ability to use awareness of your emotions and the emotions of others to manage interactions successfully. Letting emotional awareness guide clear communication and effective handling of conflict.

Motivation to change, commitment to practice new skills and, an interest in feedback are the keys to success in increasing your emotional intelligence.

For and in-depth understanding of the concepts mentioned above, purchase “The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book”, by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves or visit their website at www.TalentSmath.com. If you would like to attend a mini course on emotional intelligence, visit the website of Anderson & Anderson at www.andersonservices.com .

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, LCSW
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
--- The Anderson model of anger management includes emotional intelligence.

The Power of Negative Thinking

The Power of Negative Thinking
By Remez Sasson


For some reason, most people find it easier to think in a negative way than in a positive manner. It seems that some effort is needed to think positive thoughts, whereas negative thinking comes easily and uninvited. This has much to do with education and the environment one has been living in.

In order to understand how positive thinking works, and how to use it efficiently, it is important to understand the power of negative thinking.

If you have been brought up in a happy and positive atmosphere, where people value success and self-improvement, then it will be easier for you to think positively and expect success. If you have been brought up under poor or difficult situations, you will probably go on expecting difficulties and failure.

From an early age people let outside influences shape their minds. They view everything through their predominant mental attitude. If their thoughts are positive, that is fine, but if they are negative, their lives and circumstances will probably mirror these thoughts.

If you believe that you are going to fail, you will unconsciously sabotage every opportunity to succeed. If you are afraid of meeting new people or having close relationships, you will do everything to avoid people and relationships, and then complain that you are lonely and nobody loves you.

Do you often think about difficulties, failure and disasters? Do you keep thinking about the negative news you have seen on the TV or read in the newspapers?

Do you see yourself stuck and unable to improve your life or your health? Do you frequently think that you do not deserve happiness or money, or that it is too difficult to get them? If you do, then you will close your mind, see no opportunities, and behave and react in such ways, as to repel people and opportunities. You let the power of negative thinking rule your life.

The mind does not usually judge or examine thoughts and opinions before accepting them. If what it hears, sees and reads is always negative, it accepts this as the standard way of thinking and behavior.

The media constantly bombards the mind with a lot of information about disasters, catastrophes, wars and other negative happenings. This information sinks into the subconscious mind, and let the power of negative thinking grow. By occupying the mind with negative thoughts and expectations one radiate negative energy into the surrounding world, thus creating and recreating more negativity, failures and disasters.

The mind can be directed towards positive thinking or negative thinking. The power of thoughts is a neutral power. The way one thinks determines whether the results are positive and beneficial or negative and harmful. It is the same of energy acting in different ways.

Persistent inner work can change habits of thoughts. You must be willing to put energy and time to avoid negative thinking and pursue positive thinking, in order to change your mental attitude.

Every time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, change it into a positive one.
If you catch yourself visualizing failure, switch to visualizing success.
If you hear yourself repeating negative words, switch to positive ones.
If you hear yourself saying, "I cannot", say to yourself, "I can".
Do you repeat useless and unnecessary negative words and phrases in your mind? Change them to positive ones.

Open your mind to positive attitude, happenings and events. Expect them and think about them, and soon you life will change for the better.

Decide that from today, from this very moment, you are leaving negative thinking behind, and starting on the way towards positive thinking and behavior. It is never too late. Soon your life will turn into a fascinating, wonderful journey.

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© Copyright Remez Sasson


Remez Sasson teaches and writes about positive thinking, creative visualization, success, motivation, mind power, self-improvement, inner power and strength, peace of mind, spiritual growth and meditation. He is the author of several books about the above subjects, and the publisher of the ezine "Consciousness and Success".

Visit his website, Success Consciousness, and find articles, advice, guidance, ebooks and quotes!
Website: http://www.SuccessConsciousness.com
Books: http://www.successconsciousness.com/ebooks_and_books.htm

Colleges Discover Anger Management

Most, if not all Colleges and Universities have an Office of Student Judicial Affairs. Usually, the Office of Student Judicial Affairs is under the control of the Dean of Students. One of the primary responsibilities of this office is to manage student conduct in a wide range of areas including interpersonal relationships, substance abuse, sexual abuse and anger management.
Many colleges and universities are recognizing the need for well organized, structured anger management intervention programs with pre and post tests. Most of these programs have relied on counseling or psychotherapy as the treatment of choice for problems in managing anger. Unfortunately, anger is not a mental illness and therefore not responsive to counseling or psychotherapy. If a survey of the counseling staff of student counseling offices were conducted nationwide, you will quickly find that few if any of these counselors have specific training in anger management assessment and intervention.
Many colleges and universities are seeking certification training in anger management for its counseling staff with good results. A partial list of colleges and universities using the Anderson & Anderson model of anger management include the following: El Camino College, Lawndale, CA, West Los Angeles Community College, Los Angeles, CA., Pierce Junior College, Woodland Hills, CA., Merritt College, Oakland, CA., University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA., U.C.L.A., Los Angeles, CA., University of California, Riverside, CA. and Utah Valley State College, Orem, Utah.
It is also worth noting that some of these colleges are beginning to offer training for counselors interested in adding anger management to the areas of specialization. For information on the Anderson & Anderson model, visit the Anderson website at www.andersonservices.com
George Anderson, MSW, LCSW, BCD

Eight Hour Accelerated Facilitator Training

I recently read on an Anger Management site about an "accelerated course" for certification as a facilitator for anger management. This course offers 8 hours and a 4 hour supervision for it's participants. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Registered Nurse working with anger clients for almost 30 years, I have several questions and concerns.
1. Are we certifying people who vicariously through this course serve their own need to manage their own anger?
2. How do we determine the level of competence and knowledge behind and beyond the training of the individual receiving the certification?
There was a recent article in the L.A. Times written by Anna Gorman which brings up a few good arguments about the validity of teaching anger management. One statement by L.A County Superior Court Judge Peter Meeka says, " Anybody can set up a program, call it anger management and hope to get court referrals. You keep your fingers crossed and hope they are doing a good job". Meeka goes on to say that he would support statewide legislation to apply the same standards of anger management to the standards of domestic violence programs.
Regarding road rage, a law written by Assemblyman Herb Wesson (D-Culver City) that went into effect in January 2005 has Judges increasing their referrals and allowing them the authority to order defendants to complete a "court approved anger management or "road rage" course. However, he goes on to find that he was not aware that court approved programs do not exist in most counties. Wesson then goes on to say he will talk with members of the Assembly Judiciary Committee about setting statewide standards. "If you don't have these things in place, it could lead to abuses".
While my program is in Florida there is the same concern about who is learning how to facilitate and how many hours are sufficient to give a person the knowledge to facilitate anger management classes.
I have observed persons who have no knowledge of teaching, therapy or any mental health expertise becoming certified by those who teach anger management with fair to poor results, no matter how good the supervision is. As a Clinician, I need to assess who would be appropriate for my teaching or who would be better served by attending therapy to address the deeper underlying issues of their rage.
Offering an 8 hour "accelerated course" for facilitators in my humble opinion dilutes the years of schooling and education most facilitators go through to help people in crisis. In addition to the CEU's required to keep my licenses, I advocate professionals having to meet standards set by monitoring agencies.
I urge those who take courses in "accelerated" anger management to be cautious in spending money that appears to be a quick way to make money. Think about the effect you may have on a person with anger or rage if you cannot effectively diffuse an angry episode. I urge those in the American Association of Anger Management Provider network to consider the ramifications of teaching such a course.
Who in the end do we want to serve?
Linda Losi RN, LCSW, CAMF
www.angertrends.blogspot.com

Anger Management/executive Coach Training

Two Days of Anger Management Certification Training
San Bernardino, CA, February 16 & 17, 2006
February 16 & 17, 2006
8:30 AM – 5:30 PM
Hilton San Bernardino
285 E. Hospitality Lane
San Bernardino, CA 92408
Tele: 1-909-889-0133
Fax: 1-909-381-4299

COST: $250.00 per day
Includes free CD containing the 16 hour Motivational Interviewing course, client workbook, facilitator guide, and certificate for participants attending both days.

Download Seminar Information
Anderson & Anderson
Presents
John Elder, M.A. & Faculty
on
Two Days of ADOLESCENT AND ADULT Anger Management Certification Training
Approved for 8 CEUs by CAADAC (#2n96-341-0804), BBS (#PCE60), CAADE (#CP10-699-C-0305), BRN (#13973), TCBAP, and the CA. Board of Corrections.

The Anderson & Anderson Anger Management Curricula is the one and only anger management training approved by the state Board of Corrections for the training of Probation, Parole and Correctional Officers in California. This model is also used in Canada, Philippines, England, Mexico, Guam, United States, Ireland, South Africa, Cayman Islands, Bermuda and Italy. Our certification training and approved provider list is the industry standard and dominates the internet.

The first day of training will focus on Adolescent Anger Management and will use the Anderson workbook Controlling Ourselves as the text. Videos and exercises will be used. A demonstration and discussion of the Conover Assessment Component will be conducted. This one-day training is designed for Nurses, School Counselors/Psychologists, Substance Abuse Counselors, Case Managers, HR Managers, Clinicians, Probation Officers, as well as staff from group homes, and agencies serving families and youth. This curriculum is currently being used in school districts in Los Angeles, Oakland, Sacramento, Concord and San Diego, as well as school districts in Texas and Louisiana. In addition, probation departments in Arizona, Kansas, California and Texas are using this model. (This training counts for 8 of the total of 40 required for Certification)

On the second day, Adult Anger Management will be examined. A demonstration of the Conover Assessment will be conducted with a discussion of its usefulness. Gaining Control of Ourselves, in conjunction with experiential exercises and videos, will be used to introduce the participants to this intervention. Most major corporations have accepted this model for use by H.R. and EAP Managers. Executive Coaching in relation to anger management will also be introduced.

*Each training counts for 8 hours of credit towards the 40 hours required for Certification. *The bonus Motivational Interviewing CD permits the participants to receive the Forty-Hour Certification once the tests have been completed. **This training is also available on Interactive CDs. Please click here for more information.

Anger management/executive Coaching

Major Hospital Chains pay close attention to the bedside manner of their practicing physicians. Many hospitals have formal assessment inventories and/or patient surveys to keep informed of the way doctors treat their patients. Medical practices are becoming more conscious of the importance of treating patients with sensitivity and compassion, in order to improve patient care and the organization’s bottom line. Medical Practice Groups are equally interested in improving physician/patient relationships.

Anger is a secondary emotion which is primarily a response to stress. Few professions are as stressful as medicine. Unfortunately, many health care professionals, especially physicians, are often unaware of their own stress levels. This lack of self-awareness often results in impatience, a short fuse, poor listening skills, and/or a perceived lack of compassion in interactions with patients, nurses, and other ancillary staff. Consequently, these physicians are less likely to seek assistance in managing anger and stress.
Some case examples

A prominent Southern California Neurology Specialty Practice insisted that one of its physician partners seek anger management classes or sell his stake in the practice. The partners were concerned that his increasing behavior towards staff and patients were beginning to impact its flow of referrals as well as placing the practice as risk for legal actions.

A world renowned Cardiologist was referred to executive coaching by the Organizational Development Consultant for the Hospital in which he practiced as a condition of further employment. This doctor was described as being abusive to Resident Doctors who were being trained in Cardiology, as well as to patients and nurses. The number of complaints was so high that the Hospital’s Legal Department concluded that intervention was needed to protect the organization from potential legal action from aggrieved parties.

A major Managed Health Care Provider placed a contract physician on probation for one year with a demand that he complete a 26 hour anger management course. This physician had a history of complaints from patients who complained about his lack of time explaining their conditions or medical problems. His nurses complained that he did not adequately explain what he wanted in relation to the medication regimen for his patients or how he wanted his patients to be managed. This physician is an Oncologist.


All three of these executive coaching clients were assessed at intake relative to their level of functioning in four areas, stress management, anger management, assertive communication and emotional intelligence. A fifth category, motivation change was also assessed. Motivation is the key to change in executive coaching.

Following ten weeks of coaching with a focus on anger management, stress management, communication and emotional intelligence, they were each given a Post Test. All received scores indicating significant improvement. Later follow-up at six months indicated that the changes were stable over time.