Using Emotional Intelligence to Improve Communication

Emotional Intelligence is the most popular of the four topics taught in the Anderson & Anderson model of anger management. The other three topics are all critically important in increasing a person's emotional intelligence and enhancing interpersonal relationships. These areas are anger management, stress management and assertive communication.

What are the principal methods of communication?

Sending and receiving. Speaking, watching, listening, observing activity (of others), i.e. how people react in certain circumstances. Other senses e.g. gut feelings or intuition.

Why is sight the most effective means of communication?

It most often gives a common/general interpretation of what is being communicated.

What is meant by behavior clues?

With practice, when you are sending the message, it is possible to pick up clues about how your message is being received and then to modify or rephrase what you are saying, i.e. you get feedback and adjust the communication to make it more acceptable. Emotionally intelligent persons are able to sense the mood, feelings and needs of the speaker and respond accordingly.

What channels of communication should you regularly use and maintain in a business organization?

Face to face, telephone (land line and mobile), fax and email, text messaging, marketing DVDs, video conferencing and direct link through computers, company intranet, memos and reports et al. This is changing all the time as IT systems become ever more sophisticated. In my experience, the most effective method by a long way is personal contact. The most difficult or challenging in communicating by e-mail.

What are the most essential skills we need to develop to be effective communicators? It is generally agreed that there are six. These are:

Understanding ourselves and others, telling people, asking someone to do something, listening, observing and being convincing in what you say.

Why is telling often an ineffective method of communication?

It lacks feedback from the recipient, i.e. how will you know if they understand what is required or whether they are capable of carrying out the task?

Why is asking such an important skill in communicating?

When you ask, you obtain the information that our (subconscious) mind needs to help solve your problem.

What sort of attitude should we have towards asking?

Ask relevant and pertinent questions that are likely to earn respect. The value in asking largely depends on your ability to listen. This helps to form good relationships and encourages others to be more open in their communications with us.

Why is listening with your hearts such an important skill in effective communication?

Listening with your heart implies that you are focusing on more than the words used by the speaker. You are connecting with his or her feelings associated with those words.

What do we mean by observing in a communicational sense?

It helps us pick up visual clues from people's reactions to what we are saying to them. We can see how they are responding behaviorally (body language clues) which is valuable feedback. It helps us to refine our senses to interpret how others are responding to our line or style of communication.


Why is it vitally important to be able to understand what is going on when we are communicating to others?

Anything we perceive, by any of our senses, is only helpful if we are able to decode the messages that are being picked up by our intuitive mind. This information needs to be understood to be of any use. This is what is meant by understanding, i.e. it occurs when the (conscious) mind correctly interprets the meaning of what is perceived.

In contrast to IQ, EQ or emotional intelligence is a set of skills that any motivated person can learn to improve his or her overall communication skills as well as all other aspects of managing your behavior.




George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.angertrends.blogspot.com/
www.anger-management-resources.org

Two New Continuing Education Courses Now Available

“Gaining Control of Ourselves” This DVD contains a description and instructions for completing the Conover Assessment. In addition, as the name implies, it contains 9 lessons on anger management, stress management, communication and emotional intelligence. Participants who study the DVD with a focus on facilitator style, group facilitation and the use of clients in teaching skills in the above areas will complete and return the answers to the questions contained in the packet. Each participant will receive credit and a certificate of completion for 8 continuing education credits. Four persons can use this one DVD to gain 8 ceu credits.
This training is approved for CAADAC, CAADE, BBS and TCBAP.
Cost: $280

“Session One” is a demonstration of how to effectively lead any type of psycho-educational group. It shows how the facilitator guides the group through a complete lesion utilizing a client workbook and related posters. Four persons can use this one DVD to gain 8 ceu credits. The test question are included.
This DVD can be used for 8 hours of continuing education for CAADAC, CAADE, Batterers’ Intervention, Anger Management, MFT and CAMF.
Cost: $280

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.angertrends.blogspot.com/
www.anger-management-resources.org

The Quiet Side of Anger

Anger has a very stereotypical image. If asked to describe an angry person, most of us would describe an individual with rigid body language, rapid breathing, squinting eyes, tight fists, elevated voice, etc. If we went a step further to describe what kinds of actions an angry person would engage in, we would include yelling, throwing things, stomping and so on. Well, there is a different side of anger that we may overlook when we limit our perception of anger to the blatant and typical behaviors and images listed above.

For some of us, anger is experienced in a very different way; a way that is not as overt as what we typically imagine. You see, it is very much possible that many individuals turn their anger inward. So, instead of tearing things up, kicking, screaming and making a scene, some us will withdraw into ourselves and “beat ourselves up”. This type of anger manifestation is just as self-defeating as other negative expressions of anger.

One negative expression of anger is no better than the other. Whether you take your anger out on the world or yourself, it is important that you develop positive coping strategies to better deal with this powerful emotion. There is a vast amount of information out there on the internet, but you can also attend Anger Management groups with a certified facilitator. If you choose the latter, be sure that the facilitator is certified by the best, Anderson and Anderson. Feel free to contact us for more information.

Tanya James, M.Ed., CAMF
Anger Management of Metro-Atlanta
www.amofmetroatlanta.com
info@amofmetroatlanta.com



George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.angertrends.blogspot.com/
www.anger-management-resources.org

Watch That Body Language

Communication involves more than the words that come out of your mouth. One of the most powerful ways to communicate to another person is the use of your body language. In fact… your body language may send a more powerful message to the person you are talking to than the words that you are using. For example, if you tell someone that you are very interested in their new idea, and, as they explain it to you with excitement, you constantly check your Palm Pilot for the time and proceed to send off a few text messages… you are really telling them that you have more important things to do with your time and you are in fact contemplating those things at that very moment. In other words, you really could care less about what they have to say.

Ever had a conversation with someone who answered “yes” to something while at the same time they are rolling their eyes or letting out a long sigh? What does that communicate? To many of us it would be obvious that the words and the body language are incongruent. Out of the mouth comes an affirmation, but the body is actually saying the exact opposite. A person that assumes that everyone will recognize and respond appropriately to the “feeling” and not the words may find themselves involved in conflicts. Why? Because they will interact with many people that will focus and respond to the words only and not the real feeling being expressed by the body, which is the underlying message. Solution: Say what you really mean.

Communication is a two-way street. Not only do we need to receive messages accurately, we also need to send messages accurately. Be careful of the signals that you send with your eyes, arms, face, etc. Minimize confusion and be sure that all of the language you are expressing (body and words) in your conversation are telling the same story.

Tanya James, M.Ed., CAMF
http://www.amofmetroatlanta.com/ Anger Management of Metro-Atlanta


George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.angertrends.blogspot.com/
www.anger-management-resources.org

Anger Management Institute of Texas is an Approved Anger Management Provider for Harris County, TX Probation Department.

Anger Management Institute of Texas is an approved non-contract anger management provider for Harris County Community Supervision & Corrections - Probation department.

Gregory Kyles, Director of the Anger Management Institute of Texas, submitted an approved provider list for non-contract services application to Joel Zamarripa, Non-Contract Committee Chairperson March 21, 2007.

The non-contract service committee met April 18, 2007 and approved Anger Management Institute of Texas as an anger management provider effective May 1, 2007.

According to Mr. Kyles, one of the committee members informed him that the committee was most impressed with his application, and suggested he should consider becoming a contract provider. Mr. Kyles was not surprised that the committee members were impressed with his application packet, since it included examples of both a pre- and post-anger assessment, as well as a copy of the “Gaining Control of Ourselves” workbook curriculum. Anger Management Institute of Texas is the only anger management provider in Harris County, Texas that completes an anger assessment on clients, and has a workbook for clients to use in the program and as a resource guide once they complete the program.

Anger Management Institute of Texas www.ami-tx.com uses the Anderson & Anderson intervention program developed by George Anderson, which is the most effective and most widely recognized curriculum in the world.

Please contact Mr. Kyles at gregory@ami-tx.com or 281-477-9105 for additional information.

Proactive Anger Management

While anger management is not a cure for psychopathology nor mental illness, it can serve to separate at-risk students from those who exhibit deficits in managing stress, anger, assertive communication and empathy/emotional intelligence.

The United States Postal Service has demonstrated the effectiveness of anger management as a violence prevention strategy. "Going Postal" is becoming a rarity in media reports of workplace violence as it has become a rarity in the real world of the Postal Services.

— George Anderson, LCSW, BCD, CAMF

The Postal Service has demonstrated the real-life benefits of
proactive anger management, consisting of understanding and recognizing anger and its causes, stress management, assertive communication, and empathy or emotional intelligence.

Rather than being psychotherapy, this approach to anger management is psycho-educational: it helps students gain life skills. By applying even a few of these skills to life, rage, anger, frustration, and stress are reduced. When this happens in the workplace, workplace efficiency often climbs, there are fewer days of sick leave taken, fewer call-offs, and fewer workplace incidents.

This proactive approach can be used with higher levels of management, and administration as well. Generally, it is done in a one-on-one setting and referred to as executive coaching.

This usually starts with an evidence-based assessment, individual recommendations, and a personalized curriculum. A post-test helps the student see how much they've learned and been able to apply. Often, this can be done in as few as a dozen sessions.

John Elder, MA., MFT, CAMF
Labels: anger management classes, evidence based, executive coaching, proactive anger management

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.angertrends.blogspot.com/
www.anger-management-resources.org

Iraqi War Veterans Need Anger Management

I want to draw to the attention of every member of the American Association of American Anger Management Providers, as well as those who seek anger management facilitator certification, to an issue of high importance. The problem of inappropriate anger pervades American society; however, there is a special group of people I believe that anger management providers nationwide should pay special attention to—the returning Iraqi war veterans. The Department of Veterans Affairs has published the Iraqi War Clinician’s Guide. This guide is available on the internet. I recommend that every anger management provider read chapter 10 entitled-Assessment and Treatment of Anger in combat-related PTSD.

The treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is within the domain of licensed mental health professionals. However, as first responders in anger management, collaborating with theses professionals is within the scope of the practice of Certified Anger Management Facilitators. This fact was further revealed in the clinician guide I referred to earlier. The guide described recommended interventions that may be appropriate for managing anger problems in the Iraqi War veteran.

It was no surprise that the two fundamental pillars of interventions recommended were stress management and communication skills. These pillars are also part of the foundation of the globally accepted Anderson and Anderson model, which maintains that effective anger management involves teaching not only anger management, but also communication skills, emotional intelligence and stress management. All providers who are trained in the world renowned Anderson and Anderson model are therefore uniquely positioned to be of service to their country in assisting their fellow citizens (former soldiers).

As President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers, I urge all providers to recognize that your training places you among the most highly trained individuals globally in anger management. Therefore, for those of you who live in states where there are high concentrations of Iraqi veterans, I encourage you to increase your visibility and collaborate with licensed mental health clinicians in your community to provide a much needed service to the Veterans of this war. Provide the message that those trained in the Anderson and Anderson model are uniquely positioned to collaborate with licensed mental health professionals to intervene on the behalf of those who have fought for our country.

For those who need training in the globally acclaimed Anderson and Anderson model, training is often held in California. However, George Anderson-the internationally recognized guru on anger management-will be at Jackson State University on June 20, 2007 to provide anger management certification training. Visit www.andersonservices.com to register, or call 310-207-3591.

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF
President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers
www.angerhurts.com
www.andersonservices.com
www.aaamp.org

Marketing Strategy is Mandatory for Business Success

The Private Practice of Anger Management is a legitimate small business. To be successful, all providers must follow established marketing strategies for business success. Anderson & Anderson has a specific marketing strategy that works and has already been proven by our own success. You can and will benefit from our experience by copying our successful marketing plans, including selling methods, pricing and advertising and joining with us in this new effort.

To assist our for-profit Certified Anger Management Providers, Anderson & Anderson has launched an aggressive marketing campaign in partnership with a self-selected group of our providers worldwide. You can be a part of this group.

As a Certified Anderson & Anderson anger management/executive coaching provider, you are already part of an internationally recognized brand. To be successful in business you have to brand and differentiate your practice as the best service or product supplier to customers, from their point of reference. Therefore, you must constantly reestablish your identification with the Anderson & Anderson brand.

Pricing is not a differentiation technique. Continually lowering your selling price, or having the lowest selling price never makes you indispensable to a customer. It only makes you easily replaceable. “Anderson & Anderson are not the cheapest, but we are the best”. Our success has been based on the coherency of our model. We are different from our competitors because our model uses a pre and post test with a clear focus on skill enhancement relative to anger management, stress management, communication and emotional intelligence.

Below are some self-examining questions to ask about your current practice:

• Do you know, or do you just think that you know what your practice is really about?

• Who are your real customers?
• Are you really marketing the total package of products and services to them?
• Are you differentiating your company from your competition?
• Do you know who your local competitors are?
• What is your customer's point of reference?
• Are you providing leadership to your practice and your community?
All of these issues are routinely addressed in the marketing plans used at Anderson & Anderson and will be made available to our marketing partners.

Effective June 1, 2007, all for-profit providers who wish to be listed on our website, must have a functional website and must pay a modest fee of $39 per month in advance for this listing. In addition, any provider can be listed without charge on our Directory of Anger Management Providers at www.anger-management-resources.org. We will provide additional links to the links section on our website at http://www.andersonservices.com/resourceslinks.html . Finally, any of our marketing partners can place our new marketing DVD on his or her site as it appears on our site or pay to have the DVD information edited and related to your own practice. To view this three minute DVD, click here: www.andersonservices.com or visit YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nR1WyqnYDes.

For additional information, please call George Anderson at 310-207-3591.

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF


George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.angertrends.blogspot.com/
www.anger-management-resources.org

Anderson & Anderson Provider Profile

Colbert Williams, MSW, LCSW, CAMF, has been a Certified Anderson & Anderson provider for approximately seven years. His practice, Executive Life Coaching, Inc., is based in Lancaster, CA. Several months ago, Mr. Williams produced what is destined to become the single most important marketing tool ever in executive coaching/anger management.
This three minute video can be viewed by visiting the website of Executive & Life Coaching, Inc, at http://www.executiveandlifecoachinginc.com/ . As the result of this powerful marketing video, the Anderson & Anderson model of anger management has dramatically increased its worldwide domination. Mr. Williams and his firm are capable of editing this important marketing tool for use by all Anderson & Anderson providers. For information, contact Mr. Williams at mailto:cbwsr@gte.net or 866-726-7881.
An edited version of this video can be seen on YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nR1WyqnYDes, or on the Home Page of Anderson & Anderson at http://www.andersonservices.com/. Yesterday alone, Anderson & Anderson received 12,000 hits and 846 downloads of this video.
George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.angertrends.blogspot.com/
www.anger-management-resources.org

Things Are Not Always the Way They Seem

Common sense and conventional wisdom would suggest that most anger management referrals are mandated by the courts as the result of some type of aggressive or abusive criminal offense, i.e. Michael Richards, Alex Baldwin, Foxy Brown, Naomi Campbell and many professional athletes. In reality, most participants in anger management classes are referred by family members. The second category, in terms of numbers, are physicians who are referred by Physician Well-Being Committees or Hospital Administrators for “disruptive behavior”. The third category is employees referred by their Human Resource Departments for a wide range of unacceptable behaviors falling under the category of “angry or aggressive behavior in the workplace”.

Anger in the home is pervasive and is damaging to the perpetrator, as well as all other family members, especially children. Children who live in homes in which aggression and tension are present are learning that the world is an unsafe place, and the adults around them cannot be trusted.

It is surprising to see the number of adults who come to anger management at the urging of their children. In these cases, the children are the ticket for the parent’s motivation to change. This is good news for all concerned.

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.angertrends.blogspot.com/
www.anger-management-resources.org

Anderson & Anderson YouTube Video

Anderson & Anderson is reaching out to untapped audiences who frequent the YouTube website. One of our interns, Abel Garcia, has posted our three minute marketing DVD trailer on YouTube. YouTube has become very popular as an internet site. In addition to the increasing number of views per day, regular, everyday people have been able to film themselves and post their own videos on YouTube. To view our marketing/executive coaching trailer, please visit this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nR1WyqnYDes.



Rasheed Ahmed
Anderson & Anderson
Anger Management Services
http://www.andersonservices.com

Consumer Fraud Alert

A reputed female parolee based in San Bernardino County is teaching and granting bogus certificates in Domestic Violence Facilitator Certification in the name of Anderson & Anderson. At least five persons are reported to have participated in a weekend training in which this hoax was perpetrated. This training took place in Upland, CA.

If you or anyone you know has been a victim of this consumer fraud, please contact the local Police Department as well as the Probation Department and the Local Department of Consumer Affairs. No one anywhere has the authority to train or certify anyone in the Anderson & Anderson Model of Batterers Intervention or Anger Management except for the training faculty listed on our website at www.andersonservices.com .

George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
www.andersonservices.com
www.aaamp.org
www.anger-management-resources.org


George Anderson, MSW, BCD, CAMF
Diplomate, American Association of Anger Management Providers
http://www.andersonservices.com/
http://www.angertrends.blogspot.com/
www.anger-management-resources.org

Anderson & Anderson Invades YouTube

by Rasheed Ahmed


On Monday, April 23, 2007, our new intern, Abel Garcia, suggested that we post our Anderson & Anderson Executive Coaching DVD trailer on YouTube. If you don’t know about YouTube, please visit www.youtube.com. You will find everything from sample clips of news related stories to home made videos shot by various people. YouTube is beneficial not only because it is free and easy advertising, but also because it can help anger management providers reach new audiences.

When Mr. Garcia was posting our video on YouTube, he mentioned that it would be a good idea to edit and post videos in such a way that they spark the interests of younger audiences. This is especially a good idea for anger management providers who provide services to adolescents. Those who are in need of anger management will find the courage to attend, and make the best out of, anger management classes if they know that the organization who is providing the service wants to inspire them to learn how to control their anger. Part of being inspired means being interested. When marketing the Anderson & Anderson brand and your services, spend some time brainstorming ideas that will spark interest from untapped audiences.


Rasheed Ahmed
Undergraduate Student, CSULA
Anderson & Anderson
http://www.andersonservices.com